so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
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