Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
