I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
