Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
