i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
