You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
