god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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