I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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