things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
