I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Farmville is her only friend.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
