Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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