Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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