i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
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I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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