Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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