Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
thus making me awesome and them whores
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
