I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
