i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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