How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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