I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
