I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
