I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
