I accidentally had phone sex last night
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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