There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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