Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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