Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Congratulations! We have a period
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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