he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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