i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
