More tranny stories later!
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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