I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
NoShamevember. You game?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
