my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Pooping to opera.
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