eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
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