If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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