Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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