Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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