I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize