How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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