Banned from zoo.
Again?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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