i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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