oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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