then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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