God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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