what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
