I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.