Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  What's wrong?

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Pussy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): What's wrong? (1-503): Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans. (503): Pussy. http://tfl.nu/sltt
  Replies (18) Good night (891) Bad night (2239)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread http://tfl.nu/zf7m
  Replies (18) Good night (4734) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (231): View more from Michigan

  I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (231): I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends. http://tfl.nu/26nn
  Replies (15) Good night (1852) Bad night (3963)
• Favorite

  (972): View more from Texas

  Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (972): Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world http://tfl.nu/83f8
  Replies (36) Good night (7319) Bad night (1141)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  I did the walk of shame to church this morning.

  (734): View more from Michigan

  hooker boots and all?

  (313): View more from Michigan

  Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): I did the walk of shame to church this morning. (734): hooker boots and all? (313): Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway. http://tfl.nu/9ht9
  Replies (14) Good night (7168) Bad night (972)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (618): So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in. http://tfl.nu/s63a
  Replies (39) Good night (4181) Bad night (5321)
• Favorite

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (575): My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him. http://tfl.nu/rbp8
  Replies (13) Good night (4897) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after? http://tfl.nu/ibkm
  Replies (16) Good night (3541) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight. http://tfl.nu/l97c
  Replies (7) Good night (2301) Bad night (1518)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it. http://tfl.nu/1ffs
  Replies (11) Good night (2663) Bad night (717)
• Favorite

  (831): View more from California

  My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (831): My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover http://tfl.nu/d6nk
  Replies (16) Good night (584) Bad night (1934)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence. http://tfl.nu/jsvt
  Replies (9) Good night (992) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (304): I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved . http://tfl.nu/02ua
  Replies (3) Good night (446) Bad night (1312)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me http://tfl.nu/tpku
  Replies (3) Good night (1123) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success. http://tfl.nu/n6ta
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (217)

Randomize