C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
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Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
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He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage