Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
