I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I need water and some morals
Randomize
