I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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