I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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