you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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