I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
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That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
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Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize