p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
