I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
