he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
