Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
