my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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