Someone shit on the floor
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
