Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
