It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
