dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She told me I should be a condom model.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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