He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Best friends brother. Beat that.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
