Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize