Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
