TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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