I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I have aggressive nipples.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
