I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
